Quote for Today

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

Anthony Robbins 

(American advisor to leaders)

Quote for Today

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”

Dr. Laurence J. Peter quotes

(American "hierarchiologist", Educator and Writer, 1919-1990)

Quote for Today

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

George Bernard Shaw quotes

(Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist. 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1856-1950)

Quote for Today

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”

Washington Irving

(American Writer called the first American man of letters. Best known for the short stories The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle. 1783-1859)

Quote for Today

To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well

~ John Marshall

Quote for Today

Music . . . can name the un-nameable and communicate the unknowable.

~ Leonard Bernstein

Quote for Today

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

~ Bill Cosby

Quote for Today

If you wish to converse with me, define your terms

~ Voltaire

Quote for Today

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

~ Lao Tzu

Quote for Today

Communication works for those who work at it.

~ John Powell

Quote for Today

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

~ Anthony Robbins

Quote for Today

Who spreads, sows; Who listens, reaps.

~ Argentine Proverb

Quote for Today

There is all the difference in the world between having something to say and having to say something.

~ John Dewey

Quote for Today

It is greed to do all the talking but not to want to listen at all

~ Democritus

Quote for Today

Talking and eloquence are not the same: to speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.

~ Heinrich Heine

Quote for Today

Of all of our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

~ Walt Disney

Quote for Today

I'm a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they're interested in.

~ Bill Gates

Quote for Today

Writing has nothing to do with communication between person and person, only with communication between different parts of a person's mind.

~ Rebecca West

Quote for Today

Communication--the human connection--is the key to personal and career success.

~ Paul J. Meyer

Quote for Today

Two prisoners whose cells adjoin communicate with each other by knocking on the wall. The wall is the thing which separates them but is also their means of communication. It is the same with us and God. Every separation is a link.

~ Simone Weil

Quote for Today

Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.

~ Charles Dickens

Quote for Today

Good communication does not mean that you have to speak in perfectly formed sentences and paragraphs. It isn't about slickness. Simple and clear go a long way.

~ John Kotter

Quote for Today

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Quote for Today

The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.

~ Joseph Priestley

Quote for Today

Communication is the real work of leadership.

~ Nitin Nohria

Quote for Today

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Quote for Today

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives
~ Anthony Robbins

Quote for Today

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
~  Epictetus

Quote for Today

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.
~ Stephen King

Quote for Today

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners. ~
Erma Bombeck

Quote for Today

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. ~
William Butler Yeats

Quote for Today

Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. ~
T.S. Eliot

Quote for Today

If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help. ~
John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Quote for Today

The problem with communication is the illusion that is has occurred. ~

George Bernard Shaw

Quote for Today

We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to live together we have to talk. Eleanor Roosevelt

The Hidden Advantage of Disagreements

The Hidden Advantage of Disagreements

Guest articles > The Hidden Advantage of Disagreements

by: Thejendra BS

A popular comic strip once showed a soldier diligently watering a lawn in the rain. When a puzzled passer-by questions the need for a hose during a rain the solder answers he was simply following orders that the lawn must to be watered everyday. And then mischievously adds that soldiers are forbidden from disagreeing or questioning the orders made by their superiors. Conventional wisdom usually shows that going quietly with the established flow is the path to success and happiness. For example, if you are the boss and you have team members who don't support you in everything, you may argue that it can undermine morale, reduce your authority, weaken the team, project or even sabotage the company goals. So a good team player is one who does not rock the boat, delay decisions or introduce roadblocks. And obviously having people who agree with you on anything and everything has many perceived advantages like below.

1.   Working with cooperative people is a joy and necessary to achieve a goal. After all who would like to work with people who disagree?

2.   Things get done faster when you have people who agree with you on anything and everything.

3.   With people who collaborate easily there will be less conflicts, stress and irritation.

And so on. The above reasons appear valid because people see disagreements in the workplace lead to anger, confusion, fear, embarrassment, etc., and so it must be avoided at all costs. However, putting the popular reasons aside for sometime there are several hidden reasons why surrounding yourself with yes-men, apple-polishers and people who blindly agree without questioning for various reasons (including fear) can actually be a poison pill for you. While preventing disagreements may have its valid reasons in the armed forces, the same formula in the civilian and corporate world can often become a disaster as you will soon see. To be truly successful you must periodically welcome a generous dose of disagreement in every major or important decision you take, even if you are an expert in what you do. The suggestion for openly inviting disagreement may seem odd because it can be infuriating, insulting, irritating and seen as a roadblock to your plans. But beneath the hood there are several advantages of accepting people who can question your plans, decisions, demands, ideas, etc., provided you learn the ability to see it in an objective way. Many times the advantages of seeking advice from people who have the courage to disagree can often far outweigh the advantages of surrounding yourself with only who agree. The reasons why you need some disagreement are as follows.

1.   Lack of dissent and disagreement means lack of analysis. Everything has a downside when viewed from certain angles. This has been aptly demonstrated by Alfred Sloan (CEO of General Motors from 1923 to 1956) who once said in a directors' meeting, ‘Gentlemen, I take it that we are all in complete agreement on the decision here. Then, I propose that we postpone further discussion to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what the decision is all about.’ If Alfred Sloan couldn't find opposition to an important decision, he would postpone it to give his business managers some time to think about the pros and cons in different ways.

2.   A disagreement can often prevent you from rushing into bad decisions and choices. They give you time and press the brakes to ponder over it though you may get irritated by the delay and roadblocks. It is quite possible you may have done extensive homework on a decision, but still may have overlooked a simple, but important point, which the dissenting person can see when looked from a different angle.

3.   Use disagreements to you advantage. Cynics, pessimists and people who can disagree are right nine times out of ten. So learn how to extract gold from it. When you are doing a project or a major task you need people who can blurt out problems and roadblocks openly, not someone who will gleefully say everything can be done and pat your back. Every time a cynic opens his mouth you know what exactly needs to be fixed so that a project can succeed. Ask yourself, ‘How can I use this information?’ or ‘How much time, money and effort is involved to solve all these problems?’

4.   You need to accept opposition objectively and professionally. You should encourage people to disagree with you so that all sides of the decision can be carefully examined. Unless you are a megalomaniac or an extremely dismissive person, you must accept the fact that countless people below or above you will be more talented, smarter, knowledgeable and more powerful than you. It is not enough to invite dissent and criticism because it is the new management fad or just for the heck of it, and later victimize or target the person for saying something you didn't like to hear.

5.   Don't be afraid to disagree or accept disagreement. Real leaders accept disagreement. Surrounding yourself with yes men simply means they are just rubber stamping everything you say without adding any value or digging deep into the issue. A certain amount of honest friction heightens interest and establishes mutual respect. However, when dealing with subordinates you have to invite dissent by asking beautiful questions. People beneath you will never openly dissent if you have blown your fuse or acted irrational earlier. Many employees, especially newcomers, will not speak up in an atmosphere where they feel their ideas are not welcome.

6.   If you are famous or popular chances are everyone around will always agree with you and applaud all your decisions. If you notice such a thing then you need to be extra careful of those who are too supportive of your ideas and suggestions. This is because they will also not prevent you from making mega mistakes. So whether it is your decision of buying an unsuitable equipment for your organization, or even going to the extent of cooking the books to commit some fraud they will not oppose or openly dissent. Later on, when something goes wrong badly the yes men around will quickly disappear and not share the blame by promptly claiming that it was all your decision. Of course, if they had disagreed earlier but you did not care or bulldozed their opinions then only you are to be solely blamed.

7.   Another the key to managing disagreements is to prevent it from taking a personal turn as 99% of disagreements turn into conflicts and become dirty. The simple reason for this is the way a disagreement is put forth. Many a time a particular suggestion or idea may invoke a swift and brutal objection due to various reasons, bad past experiences or the way it is proposed. Disagreement has to be strongly focused on the issue or idea, and not on the person or the way the person blurted out the opinion, or body language, bad choice of words, etc. Though etiquette counts, the emotional aspect must be carefully and consciously filtered out so that you can to refocus on the issue or in extreme cases abandon the idea completely.

8.   One must also understand that disagreement and dissent should not be done just for the sake of it like opposition politicians who have a standard policy to oppose everything that the ruling party does. Arguing just for the sake of arguing is also not productive disagreement.

And we can conclude this chapter with two great quotes on agreeing.

‘The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.� Kin Hubbard

‘The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.’ Napoleon Bonaparte.

---

Thejendra BS is an IT manager and author from Bangalore, India. He scribbles mild and wild articles on technology, business management, self improvement and wacky humor that get published on many reputed websites and syndicated through various RSS feeds around our planet. He has also published diverse books like Disaster Recovery & Business Continuity, Practical IT Service Management, Corporate Wardrobe-Business Humor Series and Life-365-A Year's Supply of Wisdom, Tips & Advice. Visit his web cave www.thejendra.com for his free articles and details of his books.

---

Getting an Audience to Pay Attention When They Don’t, Won’t, or Can’t

by: Richard Skaare

When I stepped into the classroom of a university course titled “Computer-mediated Communication” as a guest lecturer, I faced approximately 40 students sitting at rows of tables, peering politely at me from behind computer screens, and tapping on keys. I was well prepared to use human-mediated communication (that’s me!) to talk about computer-mediated communication. I was not prepared, however, to compete against another medium.
That situation was not unlike making your way through a choreographed PowerPoint presentation only to realize that many attendees are looking down, not taking notes but checking emails and social networks on their phones. Media competes against media.
I suppose I could have told the students to turn off their machines and listen to me. You could do the same prior to your presentation. But even if they were to store away physical distractions, that does not mean paying attention. Our talking does not equate to the audience listening. People choose to focus on what interests them most at the time: you the presenter, their iPhones, daydreaming, or, in my case, computers.
Rather than becoming a frustrated lecturer, I became inquisitive. I wanted to know:

• Can humans rapidly switch between two sources of communication and still absorb information?
• Was the choice either-or: could these students simultaneously link to my messages and to their networks?
• In short, how could I – how can you — get important message and information into heads with short attention spans?

Here is what I learned – or relearned:

1. Non-verbals don’t always reflect listening. Sure, there are obvious signs of distraction: a smiling student typing while looking at her computer screen meant an Instant Message had supplanted me; or your audience may suppress yawns. However, most of the time, the audience will appear to be attentive by sitting upright and staring at you. But are they listening? Who knows?
2. My periodically distracted audience could be exhibiting “continuous partial attention,” a phrase coined by social analyst Linda Stone and particularly applicable to tech-centric young folks. Continuous partial attention involves prioritizing, keeping one source of information such as my remarks as primary but staying accessible and jumping impulsively and often emotionally between any opportunity at the moment – for instance, a rumor on Facebook — that lets people feel connected and alive.
3. And that’s the third and most important lesson: connecting emotionally unlocks attention. People learn best by connecting with people who connect them with information. If we cannot connect with the speaker at the front of the room talking at us, then we will connect with the people next to us through whispers or with our colleagues and friends through our phone screens — or, in my case, computer screens.

How then do you do you connect emotionally as the presenter when you are one and they are many, when you are standing above them on a stage, when you control the information, and when they know you only as “our esteemed speaker?”
Here are 4 suggestions.
Connect before you present
I made a point of chatting with several students as everyone settled into the classroom. A much better approach is what I was told another guest lecturer does. He greets students as they enter and then uses their names in his remarks and in the Q&A. Smart. Swap names and you start a connection. Try it.
Walk around the room as you present.
Scary, huh? Scary for you as you leave the security of the lectern and your PowerPoints and scary for the audience who doesn’t know what to expect from this unexpected move. Yet surprise spawns attention. The audience pays more attention to you and you pay more attention to their reactions (up close) and can adjust your message and animations accordingly.
Use connected media to connect.
Ask a question and tell those with smartphone browsers to find the answer while you get the audience speculating. Or ask those with Twitter on their phones or laptops to poll their groups for opinions on a particular question, and then read the results to the audience. Link what people know with what you know.
Turn what you know into questions you had to ask yourself in order to know it.
In other words, rather than presenting your findings on a particular topic, insert questions such as, “How could I reconcile this piece of data with that piece? How would you?” Ask two or three people in the audience whom you met earlier how they would answer the question. That will get a discussion rolling, after which flip to the visual that shows your conclusions.

Competing for attention is trying. Yet, trying to control an audience by over-talking, over-informing, and over-PowerPointing results in under-connecting. Remember, you are there not to be a memorable speaker but to make a memorable impression that changes the audience.

---

Richard Skaare is a strategist, writer, visual thinker, advisor, and implementer of a wide range of organizational, communication, and change issues. His user-first, creative, and pragmatic approach has involved him in diverse challenges including ,in recent years, creating a learning website/portal for a global Saudi Arabian-based company, reorganizing a telecommunications company, building interactive exhibits for a major railroad's museum, coaching medical directors, and recasting marketing for an exhibits company. Skaare writes on organizational and communication issues at http://www.skaareworks.com/.

---

Quote for the Day

Today, communication itself is the problem. We have become the world’s first overcommunicated society. Each year we send more and receive less. ---Al Ries, Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind